I first saw her face several months ago.  I have only seen it once in the flesh but her image has played over and over in my mind. 

We met while I was with my daughter helping to celebrate the 13th birthday of one of her closest friends.  My girlfriend had planned a fabulous girls’ weekend in downtown Toronto for her daughter and her daughter’s friends.  I was deeply honoured when I was given the “Mrs. Burston is cool, she can come with us” award!  We had a blast getting all dressed up and going out to dinner at a FANCY restaurant.   My girlfriend, who is a Red Seal Chef, and an amazing one at that, was able to give us some much needed guidance with the menu.  We were as proud as could be as we watched five girls, who have been friends since kindergarten, conduct themselves as such fine young ladies.  Mind you once we got back up to our hotel room they happily reverted back to their mischievous behaviours.  Not wanting my baby girl to grow up too quickly I was equally as proud to see a room full of 5 very silly girls.

The next day we went for walk through the streets of Toronto.  The area we were in was quite tame in comparison to other areas of downtown yet it was still an eye opener for young girls, and older ones, who have spent very little time in the city.  The street artists were amazing to watch.  Some have the talent to have paintings in an Art Museum yet here they were trying to entertain us with hopes of making enough money to eat later that day.  As we walked I kept a very close eye on my daughter.  Wanting to ensure her safety yet allow her enough space to explore and have fun with her friends – it is a very tricky balance.  At one point on our walk we had the opportunity to listen to an individual whose thoughts on God were sadly far from the truth.  The girls were a little surprised when I went back and asked him for a copy of the books he was giving out.  He happily gave them to me not realizing that my motivation was simply to prevent him from giving them to someone who didn’t know the truth and might be lead astray by the lies he was proclaiming.  And then I met her.

I say I “met” her, yet in reality we have never met at all.  I saw her, she probably didn’t see me.  She was standing in a store front window in between two other girls.  I’m not sure why she has stood out in my mind more than the other two but she has.  Perhaps it was her look of awkwardness as she danced to the music.  Perhaps it was her face that told me she would much rather not be dancing provocatively in front of all these strangers.   I have often wondered if she was thinking the same thing that I was thinking at the time.  “How did this happen.  What brought her to this place?”   At that moment my heart began to break for her and she became permanently etched in my mind.  I believe the Lord has laid her on my heart for a purpose.  I pray for her regularly and hope that I will continue to do so till the day I die.  I fantasize about the day that I’m walking in heaven and a girl comes up to me and says, “Do you remember me?  I’m the one you prayed for all that time.  Look what God did!”  That is going to be a wonderful moment!

What breaks our hearts?  My prayer has been to have my heart break for that which breaks the heart of God.  Do I weep over those going to a lost eternity?  Am I broken when I see a young girl devalue herself because of the lies our culture has fed her?  Am I angry when Satan has ripped a family apart by divorce?  I sure hope I am and when I am not I pray I will feel the pricking of His Spirit as He calls me to be His hands and feet.  I don’t want to stop at simply being heartbroken.  Brokenness is useless if we stay there. 

Isaiah 6:8  “Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for Us?’”  God give me the strength to say, Here am I Lord, send me.


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1 Response to Heartbroken

  1. Belinda says:

    You painted a word picture skillfully Sue, contrasting the innocence of girls growing in the shelter of loving families where they are treated as the precious gifts they are, with a girl who probably never knew that gift, and yet is just as precious.

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